What’s more stressful than landing an awesome new job and then having management spring a drug test on you? I was stoked to land a super easy part-time job a few months back that was perfect for my laid-back lifestyle.
Until they sprung the dreaded news of a drug test on me! I didn’t have time to go clean for a month and needed to figure out how to pass this test fast. I couldn’t lose this job.
Are you in the same boat? Don’t worry man, cause I got you.
I was like you and had no idea what to do. I hadn’t been drug tested in a few years, so I thought the best way was still using a buddy’s clean pee - yeah, gross.
But drug testing has come a long way. And thankfully so have methods to beat drug exams. I learned about synthetic urine from a friend, and it’s a genius solution for those of us who like to have a little fun now and then.
Synthetic urine is medical-grade urine, which means that it is created in a lab. It’s so close to the real thing, scientists and doctors use it to check their lab equipment like it is actual pee. If it’s good enough for actual doctors, it’s good enough for me!
Let me break down everything I learned in my research. You don’t have to spend the crazy hours reading online that I did in the middle of the night, scared shitless that I would fail my drug test. I’ll tell you everything you need to know about synthetic urine and why it works.
When I was freaking out and texting every dude I knew for clean piss, one of my friends told me about artificial pee. I didn’t believe him at first that this could work. Is this a normal thing to do?
But here’s what he explained to me: Companies that make clean and pure artificial urine give you everything you need in one package to pass a urine drug test. Basically, synthetic pee is a ready-to-go liquid that you just need to heat up to body temperature.
You also get these little heating packs to keep it warm throughout the day, so you’re prepared. The urine will be as warm as if it’s actually pee from a human body.
I have read some fake urine reviews on other types of artificial pee mixtures that are meant to help you pass drug tests, but I thought all of them were powdered. In fact, a lot of fake pee is powdered. If you get a powdered mixture, you have to add water and stir.
Listen, where the hell am I going to do that? When I’m in the bathroom, they’re going to wonder why it sounds like stirring instead of peeing if they have someone waiting outside the door.
I used pre-made artificial pee to pass my drug exam, so it definitely works. My buddy has used it to pass his monthly drug tests for two years. Two years! This stuff really works. You gotta check it out.
Here’s how this fake pee actually works.
How does fake piss actually pass a drug test? Hasn’t science come far enough to tell the difference between yellow water and a dude’s pee? The short answer is yes. But it hasn’t come far enough to sniff out all synthetic urines as fake.
Thankfully for dudes like me and you, this fake piss is a lot more technical than yellow-colored water, too.
How synthetic pee works is that it’s medical-grade and made in a lab. Scientists use it to calibrate machines that test urine.
Fake piss is literally the measure by which real piss is judged in scientific facilities!
Pretty awesome that you can get your hands on this top shelf synthetic pee too, huh?
Synthetic piss supposedly has all the chemicals you’d find in real human pee and has the components that the drug test is going to screen for. I read all about this boring scientific jargon, but let me explain it to you.
The fake piss is pH-balanced, meaning that it has the right amount of acidity. It also has the specific gravity, meaning it is the right density to appear as though it is real urine. And fake pee has got creatinine, another essential body chemical that real urine is checked for.
Is artificial urine detectable?. Only if you use it the wrong way. If you follow proper instructions, then you can't wrong.
Some people try and make their own synthetic urine to save some money, but that is well risky. It is a complex operation that simply does not pay off.
Take a look and see why you should use fake pee to piss your next drug test.
I like to take life easy, and I don’t like to worry. I imagine you don’t either. I’m a pretty chill dude, and there’s not a lot that stresses me out. Staying up all night reading synthetic urine kit reviews about other dude’s piss is definitely not my idea of a good time. I don’t like to get caught up in elaborate schemes to hide warmed-up pee on my body. Dude, you want to chill out too, right?
Believe me; I was freaking out when I got this surprise drug test. But as soon as I got the box delivered to my door (which is in super discreet packaging by the way), I honestly wasn’t worried at all.
I was 100% sure I was going to pass my drug test, and guess what, I did! I don’t have to worry about any follow-up drug tests they may spring on me because now I know exactly what to do.
Pre-mixed fake pee will totally give you peace of mind. There are super-easy instructions that explain everything to you and give you excellent tips on how to hide the synthetic piss, keep it warm, how long to microwave it, basically everything you need to know.
Here’s how I passed my drug test, step by step:
After you get your synthetic drug test kit, are you just going to walk into the drug testing site with a box labeled “fake piss?” Uh, no. Don’t worry; there are ways to hide your synthetic pee kits and even release it into the cup to mimic how you would actually pee, in case you are being watched.
If you hide your fake pee well, it can be totally undetectable. There are a couple of different ways you can go with strapping the synthetic urine kits to your body, which is a good way to make it small and unnoticeable. You can use a leg strap or a urine belt.
A leg strap will hold a bottle against your thigh. You can get this from some fake piss companies, and it will come strapped with a plastic bottle that looks kind of like a flask. Because the bottle is slim and a bit curved to form to the shape of your leg, it should be well-hidden and not create any suspicious bulges.
When you need to take the urine out of your pants, just unscrew the cap to put in the sample collection container.
The second method you can use is a belt. The belt goes around your waist and holds the fake pee in a bag against your stomach. The bag has a tube to get rid of the urine, which is how you’ll get the fake pee into the sample container.
One thing every dude should know about keeping the urine attached to his body in these secretive ways is that you still need to monitor urine temp. But I’ll explain more about fake piss temps below.
One of the biggest ways that labs detect fake urine, is by the checking the temperature of pee. Fresh urine is stored in your body on average at about 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, or 37 degrees Celsius.
If you get synthetic piss, the steps for heating the fake pee and keeping it at body temperature are laid out for you in simple terms. All you really need is a microwave and the ability to read and follow instructions.
To heat up the fake urine, you remove the lid from the bottle and pop it in the microwave for 10 seconds. If you actually don’t have a microwave, it’s OK; you can just heat it up with one of the heating pads. (But dude, how are you eating hot pockets?)
After heating, you shake up the bottle to get the temperature even throughout. The fake pee should be between 94 and 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Then you strap on a heating pad, which will keep the urine at 100 degrees for six full hours. You can also use hand warmers as well.
The urine can be reheated as many times as you need to, if you have to wait a long time at the testing facility or they change the time of your test. If you’ve never had a drug test before, I’ll spell it out for you so you know what to expect. You can use temperature strips to help keep you in the right range.
When your employer demands a drug test from you, they’re basically checking that you don’t have any fun in your free time. Just kidding, but seriously, these tests check for everything, and some drugs stay in your body longer than you might think.
It’s much better to be safe than sorry. For a private employer, failing a drug test might mean losing a job you already have or not getting a job during the screening process.
Either one would suck, but don’t mess around with failing a drug test for the military or a civil servant job, or if you’re on probation. Failing government-funded tests is serious business, and getting caught trying to swap in a clean sample for your real sample is an even bigger deal.
If you skimp on getting the best synthetic urine and follow each step of the instructions, there’s still no guarantee that you’ll pass your urine drug test. Labs are getting more intense every day, too. There’s one essential element you need to make sure you have in your product: Urea.
Urea is a chemical that drug tests have just started testing for, but one that you absolutely need if you don’t want to get caught. I’ve heard of people using lower-quality stuff because they thought it would be fine, but it wasn’t.
Don’t cheat yourself; you’ll be so thankful that you didn’t. Get the high-quality fake piss that has urea in it.
Why else is pre-mixed the best stuff for passing drug tests? I’ll lay it out for you.
I have researched many products ranging from the cheapest synthetic urine to the most expensive. There is a number of synthetic urine brands out there but I kept coming back to the same one over and over: Quick Fix synthetic urine.
Every dude I talked to who has used Quick Fix said they’ve passed every time. It does not expire fast, so you can stock up without the worry of it going off. Quick Fix is not just for men but also women can use this product as well. Read our full Quick Fix Plus review here.
The presence of Urea is really a game changer. Probably the best fake urine available today. Also another product that kept popping up which was the Monkey Dong. It's a fake dick that tricks the supervisor into thinking your peeing from your little man. Check out the full Monkey Dong review here.
There are a number of synthetic urine products that sell online that have impressive professional packaging as Quick Fix or offer the same bulk deals. But those companies can’t say they have urea, which is enough for me to drop ‘em. I’m not messing around with fake pee that has even the smallest possibility of letting me fail a drug test. I don't care how good the synthetic urine reviews are online about them.
One of my friends even gets tested every month because he’s on probation, and he said he doesn’t even get nervous anymore knowing Quick Fix solution has his back. Are you ready for that kind of worry-free stoner life?
Overall, you gotta figure out which fake pee is right for you and your situation.
Staring that drug test down in 36 hours is what lit a fire under my ass and got me researching fake pee like crazy. Waiting for the results, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But once I got the clean results, I actually jumped in the air and fist pumped. Quick Fix got me clean results!
If you’re in a similar place, I know how it feels. You’re wishing you had been clean for long enough not to have to worry about this stuff. OK, maybe not that far, haha.
But it will seriously ease your mind if you know you have the highest quality synthetic urine on the market. It’s so high quality, resellers are trying to fake Quick Fix formula with expired piss. Don’t buy into that, only the real stuff straight from the manufacturer will guarantee your success. Whatever product you purchase, please make sure you check the expiration date before using.
Where can i buy synthetic urine? If you Google synthetic urine near me, you will probably only find online shops that are selling fake Quick fix. It is very hard to find fake urine in stores locally. Plus buying from the cheap drug store places is not a good idea. They mainly stock the older versions of these products. We always recommend buying from the manufacturer as your guaranteed the original product. They mainly stock the older versions of these products.
Don’t get caught at your next drug test with some shitty, cheap, fake pee that will get you busted. When you get those clean results coming in, again and again, you’ll be fist pumping and be jumping for joy just like me. Remember no matter how much water you drink, it wont detox you system fully.
You’re welcome, dude. Do like I did: If you want to pass without worry and want to know where the best place that unisex synthetic urine is for sale, click on the link below. Grab it and spare yourself from reading a number of fake reviews online.
Click here to get the Quick Fix for the best price!