If you’re anything like me, finding out that you have to do a urine drug test is like a kick in the balls. When it happened to me, I started researching the hell out of the internet to find options to pass the test. There was no way that my own piss was going to work.
There are cool kits delivered to your door and guaranteed to help you pass, but I wanted to do it myself. I always see my girlfriend doing DIYs for everything under the sun, so there had to to be a way I could do it too.
It turns out that making your own pee at home is much more complicated than I thought. There’s way more risk involved because you aren’t using a company that relies on their product’s reputation. And even worse, your homemade solution has a high possibility of failure.
Keep reading to find out what happened with my homemade pee experiment.
Fake pee is meant to help you pass drug tests because it looks like the actual stuff, but it doesn’t have the evidence of all the bad things you’ve been doing.
The ingredients that make up synthetic urine might surprise you.
There are two main recipes that claim to create fake pee. Some of the ingredients include CaCI2 (calcium chloride), MgSO4 (magnesium sulfate), urea, NaCI, KCI, ammonia, and MHCI solution.
Now, I’m no science guy, so I looked at those recipes and didn’t even bother doing them. The recipe I found seemed way easier, and I thought I was tricking everyone with my cleverness.
It turns out I was the fool. Don’t mock me when you hear what I did down below. I’m here to make sure you don’t do what I did!
Urine drug testing is a really accurate way of finding out what drugs you’ve recently been doing. Whether it stays in your body depends on the type of drug, your metabolism, and other factors.
Most employers choose urine drug tests over other types (like hair) because it is so easy and quick. All they need is a small amount of your piss and they can read you like a book. The employers themselves can even test your results by using their own drug tests. All they do is dip a little chemicals strip into your piss and color match your results with a chart.
Drug testing by using synthetic urine is, without a doubt, the way I should’ve gone. When you buy synthetic urine kits from a well-known companies, like Monkey Dong or Quick Fix, you’re definitely going to pass with their formula.
Everything you need is in the kit, including a syringe, dried pee, a fake penis (seriously), heater packs, and a guide to make sure you don’t mess it up. All you have to do is follow the instructions and walk into the drug test with your fake dick in your pants and release the pee. That’s it!
Making your own pee isn’t just risky, you also have to worry about other factors - like creating the contraption that will get the fake pee into the cup. You can’t just walk in with a bag of pee in your pocket and think that’s going to work. The most elaborate homemade kits make everything that a genuine kit has, like those that Quick Fix (read more) sells. Yes, even the fake schlong.
I looked at the instructions for those and it was pretty complicated. You’re going to have buy all the tools you need to complete the task, hope that you’re good enough to make it yourself, AND have it perform well on the test. I don’t know about you, but in my opinion, there are too many factors that could go wrong.
Keep reading to find out the recipe I used.
The ingredients I used were warm water, yellow food coloring, and a pinch of salt. I know that sounds simple and STUPID, but hey. The instructions I used said to put the salt into a cup of warm water, then add the food coloring. I was careful with adding the right amount of food coloring, so it looked like good, healthy piss. I was so pleased with myself for creating what actually looked like real human pee.
But I definitely did something wrong. I think it might’ve been the wrong temperature since that seems to be an immediate sign of a fake sample. You could try making the solution I did with hot water, or add a heat pack like the real kits have, but I don’t know how it will work with the recipe I used.
The more complicated recipes that I mentioned earlier might give you better results. You’ll need the right materials and equipment, and an understanding of how chemicals work.
You’re supposed to mix these ingredients in warm water (not hot) and make sure the color is what it should be.
But it looks a little complicated and a pain in the ass trying to gather all the ingredients.
Is it even worth it? Keep reading for my final opinion and the best solution to this problem!
Hands down, I wouldn’t use homemade fake pee to pass a drug test. It is way too dodgy, risky, and the ‘best’ recipe sounds way too complicated.
If you need to take a piss test then don’t be a cheapo and just buy the real thing online. It’s easy, quick, and guaranteed to give you the results that you need. Quick Fix seems to be one of the best options available so have a look at what it is and how you can get your hands on it today.