Awhile back I was applying at a bunch of jobs, knowing that most of them required a pre-employment drug test before they’d hire. These were my first professional jobs that I was shooting for, so I knew I had to treat the process seriously.
Before I even got an interview, I started looking up products that would help me pass a drug test. Hey, I’m responsible where it counts. Don’t judge me.
There was no way I was gonna risk handing over my own piss because let’s get real, I love to smoke and stopping wasn’t gonna help flush it out of my system in time. I ended up buying 3 brands of synthetic piss so I could compare them and choose the best one to help me pass a drug test.
Serious Monkey Bizzness Synthetic Urine was one of those brands so I’m gonna talk about that one here. When it arrived, it came in a box with this crazy looking monkey on it. The box was decked out in Bob Marley colors and said “serious monkey business” on it. Most of my work colleagues spoke positively about this brand saying they has passed multiple times with it. I heard too many horror stories of the Whizzinator and Ultra pure failing so I knew i had to go with one that had the best reputation online.
The spelling was pretty clever and played off their name, Monkey Whizz. It did succeed in giving me a laugh more than anything, but their cartoon mascot wasn’t doing much for credibility.
It looked more like a gag gift for a buddy’s birthday than something as serious as what I was considering using it for.
Still, it was a fake pee that could help me get the job done. I opened the box and took out the plastic flask of fake piss and was immediately surprised by the color. It was a bright yellow that didn’t look like my shade of pee, but I don’t spend a lot of time looking at anyone else’s piss so maybe it was the right color.
I read a tip somewhere that you should shake the piss before you hand it over because real urine foams up and has a bunch of bubbles. I wanted this to look as realistic as possible.
The day of your drug test, you’ll have to heat up your fake pee to simulate the temperature it would be if it were actually coming out of your body.
Urine is released from your body anywhere between 90 and 100 degrees. The technician is required to test the temperature of your pee within 4 minutes of you handing it over, which gives it a bit of leeway for temp fluctuation. Nuke it in the microwave for 15 seconds or until it reaches the right temperature.
The heat pad claims to keep your fake piss at the right temperature for up to 8 hours. I won't push it if you don’t have to. Heat it up and use it as soon as you can.
Some products are sold with a belt to make sure it doesn’t slide anywhere or fall out. If you don’t have one of those, make sure you’re wearing underwear that is tight enough.
Give it a shake to simulate the natural foam that occurs when you pee into a cup. Pour it into the sample cup and hand it over.
The instructions are pretty clear and simple. But remember that even if you do everything right, it won’t matter if you’re using a product that doesn’t have the right ingredients. Do Monkey Whiz ingredients meet the test?
It was actually pretty hard to find the ingredients that are in Monkey Whizz. I went to over a dozen sites and couldn’t find anything besides people’s positive experiences of passing their test.
I had to find out if this fake pee contained the right stuff so I emailed Monkey Whizz and within 24hrs they replied back all the ingredients. To my relief, it covered everything I needed.
I did enough research to know that a good fake piss is balanced for pH to mimic the properties of real pee. If it’s completely out of the range of normal urine, that would be a dead giveaway that it’s fake.
YES! I was given one weeks notice of my up and coming test. I had enough time to buy the Monkey Whizz online and practise in the house. Might sound silly, but submitting fake urine was one of the most nervous things i have ever done. No matter how much you prepare, you will be nervous but be rest assured if you use Monkey Whizz, you will pass with flying colors.
I randomly need to sit tests with my work and no matter what i was offered to try another product, i would reject it. You really can't put a price on a failed test. You will lose your job overnight and struggle to get another job if caught.
Monkey Whizz is the fake pee for my drug test because it definitely contains urea, is balanced for pH, contains creatinine, and is the correct specific gravity to match the characteristics of real urine. It also looked more real to me and held foam when I shook it.
Below is one happy customer from a closed FB group.
I had a look at other synthetic urines such as the Whizz Kit, Whizzinator and Ultra Pure but they all has negative reviews online. That was enough for me to say no thanks!
On the other hand, Monkey Whizz has tons of reviews that are universally positive and highly recommended. It’s the best synthetic urine that you can buy and has never failed a test in the lab so you can bet that it’ll help you pass your drug test!
It definitely worked for me, and I would highly recommend it based on personal experience. Monkey Whizz is the best stuff your money can buy! Don’t say I never did anything for you.