To me and my friends, we dread two words more than anything else in the English language: “Drive-thru closed.” OK, that’s a pretty bad situation when you’re desperate with the munchies but I’m just kidding. The actual two most dangerous words are “drug test.”
A failed drug test could mean the end of your steady employment or inability to get a new job. Either way, we all need that cash flow. I personally can’t give up my recreational habits, you know? What’s a guy to do?
There are tons of ways to get fake pee to use for your urine sample, but the real question is: How are you going to get your fake urine into the sample cup? A lot of times, a technician waits outside of the door while you “collect your sample.”
You have to sound like you’re actually peeing in there. Even more nerve-wracking is if you need to get a supervised urine drug test, which is common if anything in your sample shows up as suspicious. I’ve had a ton of buddies who had to do the in-person test. Nervous yet?
Chill though, bro: There’s a genius way to pass even a closely monitored drug test. One way is to use a device that allows you to stream liquid into your sample cup, just like you were peeing. There’s even a device that looks like a fake penis that you can release the liquid out of.
It may sound crazy, but seriously consider these fake pee devices because they could save your ass.
However, making sure you pick the right device is crucial as i will discuss later the mistake I made in trusting the Whizzinator. I’m going to tell you how i failed my 1st test with the Whizzinator and what I did to pass my 2nd test. In this review, I will cover everything you need to know to pass your test.
The Whizzinator Kit is a discreet synthetic urine device (fake penis) which supposedly helps people pass a supervised urine drug test.
The Kit is basically a synthetic urine belt and tube that you use to “pee” out of. The kit has a belt and gravity system that gets your fake piss flowing right into the test cup like a real stream. Each kit comes with synthetic, medical-grade urine to use as your urine sample, heating pads to keep the urine at body temperature, a temperature reading strip, cotton belt, and syringe.
The Whizzinator Kit has a mixed online reputation. Most people use it in attempting to pass a urine drug test. How it works, If a technician waits outside the door when your submitting urine, the sound of the fake pee hitting the sample collection cup will sound like you’re actually peeing.
But besides in attempting to pass a drug test, it could actually be used in any situation where you use pee but don’t want to be unhygienic. The clean, fake urine and delivery method mimic real peeing, so it’s probably best for sexual fetishes.
Listen, it’s not my preference, but if you have a pee fetish during sex, I’m not here to judge. You can really relax and just enjoy knowing there aren’t any severe health implications with the non-toxic pee. It looks like the real thing, too.
Sometimes people use this fake piss to ward off animals, too. I guess animals have a huge hangup about piss, and it could keep rabbits out of your yard. That is if you’re into gardening, which some of us stoners are if you know what I mean.
You could also use the kit for pranks on your buds. My friends know not to prank me by pretending to pee on my stuff, as I’d totally flip out. But I would definitely like to see it happen to someone else.
Now, let’s cover the official instructions. Please note, these are the steps i followed and still failed.
Here are the steps I used with the kit:
With most fake penis kits, you can pass observed drug tests. You can successfully use a penis prosthesis and have a lab technician watch you pee without becoming suspicious. It’s always better to be prepared and assume you’ll have a monitored pee test, even if you weren’t specifically told you’d have one. When picking a device, please make sure it has the following qualities
The synthetic urine needs to be pH-balanced, meaning it has the right amount of acidity. It also contains specific gravity and has the right natural yellow color. One thing that can get you into trouble with a fake urine sample is a lack of foam. This fake pee even has real foam.
If you know any ladies who need to pass a drug test too, I cover that below.
If you are a lady or know a woman who needs to pass a drug test ASAP, normally i would of suggested the Whizz Kit. However, since both products are made from the same company they probably use the exact same urine. We would always recommend Monkey Whizz (review coming soon). It's cheaper, less discreet for females and has many high reported passed cases online.
Wearing the Monkey Whizz belt around you is super discreet, especially because women have fewer large pockets in which to hide a synthetic urine sample. A huge bottle certainly isn’t going to fit secretly in skinny jeans! But with the women's Monkey Whizz, you don’t have to worry about anyone seeing the synthetic urine. Hiding it will be easy.
The Kit will sound like real urination because the small tube will release pee into the urine sample collection cup. Even if you have a supervised drug test with a lab technician watching. Simply cut the tube short enough that it can’t be seen by someone standing in front of you and you’ll have nothing to worry about. It's very easy to conceal. One of the most common questions you find on forums online is "how to smuggle urine for a drug test female". It is a breeze with this kit.
Let’s cover some basic questions you might have at this stage about using this product.
The dehydrated urine mixture that comes with the product lasts for one year. Even if you are just preparing for the possibility of a drug test or think you may have one coming up in the future, you’re set for a long time. If you need fake piss refills, you can get Quick Fix premixed refills that last even longer: two years.
There are two ways to make sure your fake urine stays warm. The first way the synthetic urine stays warm is pure body heat. Your body temperature is high, and the urine is strapped close to your body. The second way is the warming pads, which are instant hand warmers to prevent your fingers from freezing. The urine sample includes a temperature reading sticker, so you’ll be able to make sure your synthetic urine is at body temperature.
Yes, when I got mine, it was just a brown box with some random company name on it. If I weren’t home to bring it inside, the neighbors would have no idea. An added bonus is that the emails are also super discreet, so there’s no paper trail about buying synthetic urine or testing devices.
The Whizzinator Touch can fit about 4 ounces of urine, which is a good amount for a urine sample. Around 3 ounces is enough sample in most testing labs. Make sure not to overfill the bag, the company warns that this could break it.
The elastic belt can be expanded to fit waists up to 54 inches. The Whizzinator Kit belt is also adjustable for men or women.
You can use it as many times as you need or want. You can clean it easily with pure tap water, no soap required in-between each use to keep it fresh.
There is only one size of the penis prosthetic, but it comes in several different skin colors for a natural look.
Well, i failed my drug test using the Whizzinator. It came back that i used some form of artificial urine. My job offer was retracted instantly and I never was given a 2nd chance to sit it.
I might of made a mistake during the preparation but after hearing so many horror stories on Facebook groups I realised there must be something wrong with the actual urine.
When I had to sit my 2nd test, i tried the Monkey Dong. I had my doubts but I passed with flying colors. I have actually passed 4 tests with this device. The great thing about the Monkey Dong, its cheaper, looks more realistic and it PASSES.
Listen, I am not the most seasoned pro when it comes to taking drug tests. Some guys have to take them almost every month. For me, I’ve only had to take a urine drug test a few times for different jobs.
If you’re not familiar with the drug testing process, you want to be as prepared as possible. If even a noob like me can figure out how to pass a drug test with fake urine and a prosthetic penis, anyone can do it.
Overall, I would not try the Whizzinator brand, there is so much negative press about them. I’ve passed more than one drug test using the number one Monkey Dong, and it really works. You never know when your next drug test is coming, so don’t get caught off-guard. Don’t wait until you need it the day before.
Click below to read reviews on the Monkey Dong.